A Million Dreams of the World He’s Gonna Make

Photo from Unsplash

Photo from Unsplash

I am a dreamer.

An idealist.

A romantic.

I have ideas of what perfection looks like. When a pretty picture captivates my imagination, I often find myself naturally striving for my own version of that pretty picture.

I actually love that God, the ultimate dream-maker, designed me to be a dreamer for various reasons I don’t have time to list here in today’s blog.

 But honestly?

It’s often a struggle to surrender my desires to the ultimate dream-maker.

Because sometimes I’m too busy pretending I’m my own dream-maker and coming up with my own desires for my life.

 Ouch.

I have also discovered that being a dreamer doesn’t always predispose me to being a joy-filled person.

Because being a dreamer means being someone who longs for more. 

Have you ever deeply longed for something? The dictionary suggests some synonyms for longing: “thirst, hunger, ache…”

We can romanticize those words all we want. But being thirsty, hungry, or having a perpetual ache are rarely fun experiences.

And what are we hungry or thirsty or aching for?

When I was twenty-one, I visited New York City. I had been dreaming of being a Manhattan girl for years. It was as if the mother ship was finally calling me home.  And to be honest, it was everything I dreamed it would be. The lights, the activity, the shopping, the stores, the theaters, iconic buildings and yellow taxi cabs.  I was entranced and in love with the city that never sleeps.

And when I came home from that trip, exhausted, anxious, financially tapped and feeling myself so prone to materialism, pride, and strife, after awhile it occurred to me. “Wow. I think I know what might have happened to me if I had been a Manhattan girl. I think maybe God knew what he was doing when he didn’t fulfill that desire in my life.”

I will always have a special place in my heart for New York. And maybe someday…? But especially as a young woman, God knew it wasn’t the place for me.

Last night, I was mesmerized by a beautiful cover of the hit song, “A Million Dreams.”  You can see it here. I watched a viral video of a little five year-old girl singing and dancing with her daddy.  As she looked up to him, held his hand as he adoringly spun her around in her pretty dress, she sang with all her lungs, “A million dreams of the world we’re going to make. However big, however small. Let me be part of it all…”

“Lord,” I thought softly, “Make me like her.”

Make me like her. Make me a child-like girl so excited about her heavenly father’s dreams for the world. Make me a girl totally confident in who she is and what she’s doing because she sees her reflection in her daddy’s eyes. Make me a girl ready to be part of what her daddy is doing- big or small. Make me free and joyful, not because of any dreams I’m pursuing but because of a total surrender of those dreams to the one my heart adores and trusts.

I think sometimes I confuse the pursuit of my joy with his. I want my joy and I want it now! I think I want my dreams that will result in my joy! But I fall short of finding complete joy on my own. By seeking his heart first, I am invited to share in an authentic joy that comes from being part of his dreams for this world.

As Jesus prayed to God the Father, may “your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is heaven.”

Frederick Buechner, author and theologian, once wrote, “The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.”

There’s profound gladness in being about the Father’s dreams for this world. In seeking his joy, we’re also finding our own.

It’s when we reverse things and try to find our own joy on our own terms that we’re stuck in longing mode.

Last night, as I tucked my five year-old son into bed, he made some rambling prayer that was full of obscure theological misunderstandings and ridiculousness. But he was earnest and passionate and he was talking to God.

I was a bit distracted with amusement. I couldn’t help but smile and think, “How precious that he even tries.” And then the thought came to me, “Isn’t that how God sees us?”

I wonder if God looks at us, using our individual gifts to bring him glory and just thinks, “How precious that she desires to be part of my dreams for this world?”

As a dreamer, I long for more. I hunger and thirst for more.  But my prayer tonight is that my desire belongs first to my heavenly father, the one my heart adores and trusts. May I have a heart longing after his heart. May his dreams be mine.

“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.” (Matthew 5:6)

 

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