For the Girl in the Back Pew
Photo courtesy of Unsplash/Sasha Freemind
For the past 15 months or so, I’ve been hosting a weekly podcast called “Finding Something REAL.” When I describe it to people, I say it’s a podcast for seekers and believers needing encouragement. But lately as I pause to reflect about who it’s really for- I know it’s for the young woman figuratively sitting in the back of the church. It’s for the girl who grew up in a Christian home and now struggles to know if she can really trust what she’s been taught all her life. And it’s also for the girl who has never experienced the love of Christ but has started to wonder if maybe He’s legit. The Finding Something REAL podcast is for the believer struggling with faith and the skeptic struggling with doubt.
Great communicators have a trick they teach to those wanting to speak or write, “Imagine your ideal listener. Who are they? What are their problems? What are their dreams? What do they want?”
I wonder if my listener feels isolated or lonely. I wonder if she’s lost loved ones to sickness or social distancing. I wonder if she’s afraid of what the future might look like when she scrolls on social media. I wonder if she’s tired of watching Netflix by now. I wonder if she’s longing for something or someone to hold onto. I wonder if she’s feeling discouraged at the state of humanity.
So I imagine this girl before I hit the record button. I think of her. I try to put myself in her shoes. I try to empathize with her life struggles and doubts. And as a result, I’m trying to be very cognizant and intentional with what I share or don’t share on the podcast.
The last question I ask in every podcast episode is always the same. I ask my guest; “The Finding Something REAL podcast is about a journey towards Restoration/Redemption, Eternity, Authenticity, or Love- of these things we can find in relationship with Jesus Christ, which stands out to you the most in your life right now and why?” I ask this question because I want my listener to know that those things are available to her. I want my listener to know that God is not far and He wants relationship with each one of us. I ache for her to know the freedom that Christ alone offers. I desire for her to know that the God of the Universe is a good Father who loved her so much He sent His son for her and salvation is a free gift offered to all and given to everyone who puts their trust in Him.
To this end, I don’t ever want my podcast to be a place of division. I want to be careful what I say about the Church- meaning Christ followers- because Christ loves the Church and He loves unity among believers. In fact, unity mattered so much to Him, He passionately prayed for it the night before He died (John 17:20-23).
And at the end of my life, I want to be known more for what I was for than what I was against. I want to be characterized by love for God and love for people. And frankly, this world has enough animosity, frustration, and hurt going around. I don’t want to contribute to any of that.
But this week, I sat down with a pastor I respect and admire, and I shared some vulnerable thoughts and feelings that have been building up in me for some time. And what I shared in this episode (it will be available for streaming starting on November 18th) is precisely because of who my listener is. Honestly, if I was still the girl in the back pew, searching for that something real, I think I’d be desperate right about now. I’d be desperate to see some love coming from the Church. I’d be desperate for hope. Because of the craziness of 2020, I’d be desperate in a way maybe I never had experienced before.
And over the past few months, I have seen gracious people answering that desperate need in our world for faith, hope, and love. But honestly, I’ve also wondered if what that girl hears is a predominantly different message:
Anger. Frustration. Indignation. Contempt. Pride.
“The government is taking away our rights!”
“I’m not going to wear a mask. You just do you and I’ll do me. ”
“Why can’t we all just do our own thing and get along?”
“COVID isn’t that bad.”
“A mask is demonic.”
“Our governor/president/alleged president-elect is an idiot.”
“Those of us who aren’t afraid of the pandemic can still gather and praise the God of the Universe.”
And I wonder what that girl feels when she hears these things. I imagine what she might say.
“The government is taking away our rights!” And this pandemic has taken away my rights and my future too.
“I’m not going to wear a mask. You just do you and I’ll do me.” Yeah, but your mask protects me and others… I thought Christians were about love?
“Why can’t we all just do our own thing and get along?” Whether you like it or not, your actions affect other people. We’re 9 months into a pandemic and if we could all just do our part maybe this stupid thing could be over.
“COVID isn’t that bad.” Oh really? Tell that to my grandma who’s now 6 feet under and I couldn’t even go say goodbye.
“A mask is demonic.” Are you saying I’m demon-possessed?
“Our governor/president/alleged president-elect is an idiot.” I thought Christians said everyone is made in God’s image and He loves everybody… or is it just people that they like?
“Those of us who aren’t afraid of the pandemic can still gather and praise the God of the Universe.” Dude. I’m not afraid. But if praising the God of the Universe means I have to get together in a poorly ventilated room without masks right now to prove some point, maybe I’m further away from God than I thought.
As a Christ-follower, I have been amazed at how many American Christian brothers and sisters I love and admire have seemed to go about ignoring a deeply hurting world. And at times, have justified their positions in Christian terms that sound good on Sunday mornings but further alienate people who are really searching for answers and truth.
To be clear- If you are Christ follower reading this, I have absolutely no idea what God is personally calling you to do during this time. Obviously I am not God. Nor do I deny having days of significantly selfish pity-party behavior during some of this pandemic. I don’t like masks. I don’t like social distancing. I find myself annoyed way too often. I think the government has overreached in some areas and it’s concerning. And half the time, I’m confused about my own response to what’s happening in the world.
But I do know that whatever we’re individually called to- wherever we’ve been placed- what part we play in bringing God’s kingdom to earth- it starts with love for God and love for others.
Don’t take my word for it. It says so in the Bible. Jesus said, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Matthew 22:37-39
This isn’t about you. And it’s not about me.
It’s about loving God and loving the people around us.
What if this was the Church’s moment?
I don’t mean it’s the moment for a battle cry of power and frustration.
What if this was our moment to worship God openly but respectfully? What if this was our moment to pray instead of vent on social media? What if this was our moment to sacrificially love others as Christ loved us? What if this was our moment to be a bright light in an ever-increasing dark world?
To quote a former pastor of mine, “The world is watching to see if how we live is congruent with what we say we believe. And more important than what we say we believe, is how we live.” (Richard Dahlstrom)
I heard a Christian ministry leader and author (Hillary Morgan Ferrer) say recently that often, “Christians are called to absorb.”
Absorb: “to take in or soak up.”
It’s a radical idea, really. In other words, if there’s pain around you- start soaking it up instead of repelling it. If there’s ugliness, start taking it in. You might think that’s ridiculous- like drinking poison! But Jesus told His disciples to turn the other cheek when someone strikes you. And I believe if we actually started living like that we might be amazed at how Christ could transform those disgusting things we take in and wash them with his grace and love. Perhaps we could then pour out the fruits that come from spending time in His presence- love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
In fact, it reminds me of a quote I love from one of my favorite authors, Philip Yancey, “Power, no matter how well-intentioned, tends to cause suffering. Love, being vulnerable, absorbs it. In a point of convergence on a hill called Calvary, God renounced the one for the sake of the other.”
This week on the podcast, I’m having a thoughtful conversation with Pastor Fred Williams from Snohomish Community Church. I’ve had the honor of visiting SCC on several occasions over the years and I’m honored that he sat down with me and openly talked about the Church’s response during these tough times. I’m also thankful that he listened to my own hurt and frustration and responded in love and grace.
If you’ve been wrestling with your own response during this pandemic, I pray the episode graciously challenges and ministers to you. And if you’re the one sitting in the back pew, I pray you’ll know that you’re not alone in wondering about some of these issues. I pray you’ll know that the God of the Universe sees you. And I pray you know as Pastor Fred shares: “God knows. God cares. And God is involved.”