One week into the New Year and...
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All is quiet at 6am. Except for the hum of central forced air, a soothing Spotify list that hums in my ear, and my seven year-old (who I swear is chronically sleep deprived) who is on the couch trying to repair a toy with a pair of dull scissors.
It’s dark outside and the lights are down. I have a candle lit and several LED candles flickering as well. My cozy socks and a soft blanket cover my feet.
A few minutes ago, I was on a yoga mat, stretching and talking with the Maker of the Universe. Now I sit to write for a few minutes.
In the span of one week, this has become my sacred time.
I crave it. But it doesn’t come without cost.
My body aches. One of my goals for 2021 has been to drink more water. Unfortunately my body as accommodated that new developing habit by coming up with an unfortunate one of its own.-middle of the night nature wakeup calls. It wouldn’t be so bad but for several nights, I wasn’t able to go back to sleep after hitting the bathroom. I tossed and turned for what felt like hours. When the 5am alarm sounded last week and my husband said something to me, my immediate response was complaint and whining. “But I didn’t sleep well last night!”
Fifteen minutes later, I got up.
And I got up this morning, too.
I got up because I need the sacred in my life. I need the quiet.
I need the thing that stretches me in this season.
My word for the year is “disciple.” It’s not because I fancy myself some saint. It’s because I need more discipline in my life and in order to have that discipline, I need to be a follower of the One who can teach me His ways.
I love where in the scriptures it talks about Jesus getting up early in the morning to find a lonely place to pray.
For years, I have read those words with longing. If only…
As a college student, I would stay up late and I remember getting up early so some girlfriends and I could go running. One time was all it took to tell me it was a stupid idea.
Then, married but before kids, I always had an excuse for not getting out of bed. For a season, I would get up before dawn. But I gave that time to my friends who were waiting to go for walks around the neighborhood before we left for our various jobs. If they hadn’t been waiting, I wouldn’t have been up.
And then came the sleep deprivation of years spent with toddlers and babies. Those nine years of kids in diapers is an exhausting mixed memory of joys and recurrent sleep interruptions. Getting up early happened occasionally, but I just couldn’t be consistent. And in my (and every woman who’s ever had a crying child wake her in the middle of the night) defense- those years came with their own kind of sacred.
But now?
Well, now, my excuses have dwindled…
In the quiet, I find myself stretched and aching for rest.
And here, in the stillness, talking with Jesus, I find the stretching, rest, and abundantly more.
“Yes, my soul, finds rest in God; my hope comes from Him.” ~Psalm 62:5
“The LORD will fight for you; you need only be still.” ~Exodus 14:14
“In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly.” ~Psalm 5:3