Memory, Feeling, and Love at the Cross

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It’s Good Friday. Today is an invitation to reflect on a complex mystery. If you pause long enough to see Jesus Christ on the cross, it’s hard not to wonder, “What is He doing there?”

I was talking with one of my podcast co-hosts recently and she admitted that she just didn’t believe in the story of Jesus. She wasn’t sure He even existed. She’s not alone. I was scrolling through social media the other day and someone in one of my Facebook groups equated the story of Jesus with mythology. I’ve seen some TikTok videos that claim similar views. But with all due respect to both my beloved co-host and people I don’t know on social media, history and those who actually study it are virtually unanimous: Jesus Christ was a real person with real followers who died on a real Roman cross.

And so Jesus lived and He died. So what?

Romans 5:8 says, "God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

The Bible says that “God so loved the world that He sent His only Son…” (John 3:16a)

Back to that question, what is Jesus doing on the cross? He’s dying for messed up people like you and me because He loves us.

But to be honest, it’s hard for me, even as a believer, to understand why He did that. So much feels familiar. So much is still mystery. But for the past few weeks, I’ve been pondering some insights about the cross I had never really considered before now.

You see, I’ve been a follower of Jesus most of my life. For me, I never remember a time the cross wasn’t in view- ubiquitous. On the felt board in Sunday School. In childhood doodles on sermon notes. On the cartoon programs my brother and I would watch as kids on Saturday mornings. Positioned behind the pulpit at church. Some days, it’s even on my jewelry or displayed on a t-shirt.

But I’ve been thinking of the cross. And here are some things that have been kind of messing with me a bit, if you will. And I just wanted to share them in case they mess with you, too. Sometimes it’s good to mess with our comfort zones.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the smells coming from the cross. I know that sounds weird. Give me a minute here…

Years ago, I remember a pastor talking about smell being the human sense that is closest to memory. In fact, not only has neuroscience confirmed the link between smell and memory, but smell is also strongly linked to our emotions.

What smells remind you of love and help you feel love? For me, when I walk by a lilac bush I still remember my great grandma and her kind smile and inviting home. When I smell the ocean, I still think of my grandpa’s gentle voice.

What smells remind you of something you dislike and contribute to feelings of distress? For me, when I smell rubbing alcohol, I think of pain.

When I’m going through a season where my awareness is super heightened, either by stress or excitement (just another form of stress), I am even more moved by my senses. For example, when I am going out of town for ministry and my husband won’t be going with me, I often spray his cologne on my pillow. I do this because I know that aroma will remind me of him and bring a kind reminder of his love the next time I put my head down to rest.

I think Jesus, like us, was impacted by smell. He felt things, too.

When Jesus was on the cross, He faced horrific things- reminders of death. But also reminders of mockery. After having been sleep deprived, abandoned by most of His followers, misrepresented by those claiming to know His Father, Jesus was brutalized by the Roman soldiers. His back was shredded by a torture device, forced to carry His own cross as long as He could bear, wear a “crown'“ of thorns, stripped of His clothes, and then nailed by His wrists and feet to a piece of wood from a tree He had created, He didn’t resist. People mocked Him and spit on Him. And challenged Him to do something IF He was who He said He was.

Matthew 27:42 records, “He saved others,’ they said, ‘but he can’t save himself! He’s the king of Israel! Let him come down now from the cross, and we will believe in him.”

If Jesus was who He said He was, the Son of God, God in the flesh, do you think that in an instant He could have stopped the madness that had Him nailed to that cross?

Of course He could have.

But He didn’t.

In fact, earlier that same day, the topic of who was in charge had already come up when Jesus was talking with Pilate (Roman governor of Judea) who ordered Him to be crucified.

“So Pilate said to Him, “Do You refuse to speak to me? Do You not know that I have authority to release You and authority to crucify You?” Jesus answered, “You would have no authority over Me if it were not given to you from above…” (John 19: 10 & 11a).

Jesus chose the cross. Because He chose love.

And while He’s on the cross, there’s this moment where He’s being mocked that the Roman soldiers offer Him something to drink, via sponge on a stick.

My friend suggested that this sponge on a stick had a very specific purpose in ancient Roman culture- to clean one’s backside in the latrines. A first-century equivalent to used toilet paper.

I thought about this for awhile, imagine the smell that Jesus, whom the Scriptures say is “King of Kings and Lord of Lords,” had offered to Him in his final hours? Could the perverted sound of the mocking been accompanied by the putrid smell of human feces?

And yet, the Bible says that it was Jesus who in the six hours He spent suffocating on the cross, cried out, “Father forgive them for they know not what they do!” (Luke 23:34) On the cross, Jesus was still offering love and forgiveness, caring for others, and offering salvation.

Who is this Jesus that’s being accosted with the brutality of the cross and yet loves?

Like the old Third Day song lyrics go,

“Who is this King of glory that pursues me with His love
And haunts me with each hearing of His softly spoken words
My conscience, a reminder of forgiveness that I need
Who is this King of glory who offers it to me?”

And so there’s this stench-odor- of brutality and humiliation. Of perhaps literal human crap. But also…

I was talking with a Biola professor while we were recording for the podcast this past week. I asked her about something compelling in the Bible. She pointed to a familiar story in John 12. It’s the story of a grateful woman named Mary, giving Jesus an incredibly expensive pedicure. It actually doesn’t say pedicure but it’s a foot washing with very expensive perfume. She breaks a large bottle of perfume- what some scholars think was so expensive it may have been her dowry or inheritance and she proceeds to wash Jesus’ feet with loads of this perfume and her hair. It’s a sacred, personal, extravagant, gift. The Bible records that the whole house smelled from the aroma and at least one of Jesus’ followers questioned what the heck she was doing. And Jesus? What does He do?

“Leave her alone,” Jesus replied. “It was intended that she should save this perfume for the day of my burial.” John 12:7

The professor pointed out that this amount of this particular potent perfume poured on Jesus’ feet likely would have still been evident a week later at the time of His crucifixion.

My mind immediately went to a situation where just a couple weeks ago, I was on a plane. My hands were dry, so when I opened up my purse and saw a small sample sized container of lotion, I was thankful. Without thinking, I dabbed about a dime size onto my hands. And as I was rubbing it into my skin, I realized, “Hey, this is pretty potent.” In fact, I overheard the flight attendants a few rows behind me complain that someone had just put on some essential oils. I sank in my chair and tried to rub the smell off of me. That, from about a dime size of lotion.

Mary had poured a whole bottle (a pint or pound) of intense, expensive perfume onto Jesus’ feet when she anointed Him a week before His crucifixion.

Was Jesus, even as He hung on the cross, struggling to breathe and inhaling the crap that was possiblyl literally being shoved in His face, was He still being reminded of the ones who wouldn’t reject Him when He inhaled the scent of that perfume? Could He still smell the sweet aroma of surrender and love? Was He thinking of the one even as 99 rejected Him? (see Matthew 18:12-14).

As I’ve thought of Jesus’s love on the cross and those smells- one a reminder of complete gratitude- the other a reminder of complete rejection- I’ve thought about my own response to Jesus. Is my life the aroma of gratitude, surrender, and love? Or is my life one of mockery, pride, and disbelief?

One pastor, speaking of Mary’s extravagant gift, said, something along the lines of, “one thing is for certain: Mary went away from worshipping Jesus, smelling like her Savior.”

Do I want to wear the scent of the mocker or of the worshipper?

These questions have pierced my heart this week and I hope you wrestle with them, too.

Take a moment to consider the mystery of the cross. What is Jesus doing on the cross? What will your response to Him be?

“When they hurled their insults at Him, He did not retaliate; when He suffered, He made no threats. Instead, He entrusted Himself to Him who judges justly. He himself bore our sins” in His body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; “by His wounds you have been healed.” 1 Peter 2:23 & 24